Yukking it up about street punks with the Chronicle

Photo by Eric Risberg

The Chronicle's Heather Knight apparently assumes we too will think this is "great stand-up comedy":

We never imagined the city's ban on sitting or lying on sidewalks was great stand-up comedy fodder. Until we saw a new riff from comedian Nato Green.

"What the chief of police seems to be unaware of is 100 percent of crime is committed by people who are not lying down...In fact, people lying down is the solution to crime. We should have police going through crime-ridden neighborhoods just giving out pillows and tea."

And this:

"If you're the kind of person who can't handle it, doesn't want to see freaks on the street...we have a place for you, and it's called Walnut Creek. You're free to go. There's a train that leaves every 20 minutes."

Har har. Maybe you had to be there, though it's not even clear that Knight actually saw the routine, since she only "saw a new riff." Maybe Green sent it to her like Strange de Jim used to send items to Herb Caen. Unlike de Jim's items, this doesn't work in print, and it's hard to believe that it works as stand-up, either.

Knight apparently joins the progs over at the Guardian who worry that the city is "waging a war on fun." A few years ago, the Guardian's Steve Jones defended people  who "pee in your doorway, graffiti your wall, grab your ass, or barf on your shoes. That's city living, and I love it."

Right. Those of us who object to street punks occupying Haight Street, the homeless living in Golden Gate Park and on our streets, graffiti/tagging vandalism, the drunken mob scene that is now Bay to Breakers, etc. are just a bunch of squares who can move to Walnut Creek if we don't like it. In fact it's Knight and Jones who are in the minority, which has been clear since Care Not Cash passed way back in 2002.

Heather MacDonald puts sit-lie in context.