Sunday, June 29, 2014

Ann Coulter has a point about soccer

I'm a liberal Democrat, but I have to admit that Ann Coulter makes some good points about soccer in her latest provocation/column. Her first sentences show that right-wingers can have a sense of humor:

I've held off on writing about soccer for a decade---or about the length of the average soccer game---so as not to offend anyone. But enough is enough. Any growing interest in soccer can only be a sign of the nation's moral decay.

This is meant for laughs, since offending liberals is an important part of her shtick.

If Michael Jackson had treated his chronic insomnia with a tape of Argentina vs. Brazil instead of Propofol, he'd still be alive, although bored...

Good point, though I watched part of the US versus some other country the other day, and I found it almost interesting.

You can't use your hands in soccer...What sets man apart from the lesser beasts, besides a soul, is that we have opposable thumbs. Our hands can hold things. Here's a great idea: Let's create a game where you're not allowed to use them!

Good point for a lot of Americans like me, who grew up playing baseball and basketball. For me the greatest athletes in the world are playing basketball in the NBA. Watching Lebron James kick a basketball around wouldn't be much fun.

I resent the force-fed aspect of soccer. The same people trying to push soccer on Americans are the ones demanding that we love HBO's "Girls," light-rail, Beyonce and Hillary Clinton. The number of New York Times articles claiming soccer is "catching on" is exceeded only by the ones pretending women's basketball is fascinating. I note that we don't have to be endlessly told how exciting football is.

Okay, but no one really needs to love Hillary, except maybe Bill. I voted for her in the 2008 primary not out of love but only because I thought she had a better chance of being elected than Obama. (I thought like Willie Brown, who told Obama in 2004, "Nobody named Barack Obama is going to get elected to anything.")

It's foreign. In fact, that's the precise reason the Times is constantly hectoring Americans to love soccer. One group of sports fans with whom soccer is not "catching on" at all, is African-Americans. They remain distinctly unimpressed by the fact that the French like it. Soccer is like the metric system, which liberals also adore because it's European. Naturally, the metric system emerged from the French Revolution, during the brief intervals when they weren't committing mass murder by guillotine.

Good point. This is how some bike people are trying to sell cycling here in Progressive Land. Look how much the Europeans like it! The French eat snails, too, but somehow that's never caught on here. Of course they call it "escargot," which, along with garlic butter, probably helps it go down the old pie hole better.

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