Saturday, August 24, 2013

The bike people fail the IQ test

The above was greeted with glee by the anti-car bike people commenting on Uppercasing as if Jonathan Swift had been reborn among us. But the thing about satire is that readers are supposed to know who you're satirizing---and you can't do satire if you're kind of dumb and have no real sense of humor.

Who exactly is being mocked here? Not me, since I rarely use exclams and never put things in caps. Nor can it be the folks at Save Masonic, where the only exclamation points I find are on their flyer, which is typical for that genre.

The comments to Uppercasing seem to revel in the fact that this lame attempt was even made, not that it was done well, which they would be incapable of recognizing anyhow.

It's really a case of projection, since it's the anti-car bike people who are routinely unglued when opposition to their trendy cause is hindered or criticized (The latest: Streetsblog is outraged that "merchants" in the avenues oppose removing street parking to make bulbouts and parklets decorated with artsy "sculptures." Like the people in Polk Gulch, these folks don't seem to understand that City Hall and Streetsblog know their interests better than they do.)

Did you know that besides countless meetings, mailers, and community outreach the MTA is trying to SNEAK IN a redesign of Masonic Avenue TO MAKE IT SAFE FOR ALL USERS?? This is an OUTRAGE!

In fact there were only three "community" meetings that were of course stacked with Bicycle Coalition members (My account of the first meeting here). The thing about the bike people is that they always have people at the meetings. The rest of us---that is, normal people---tend to ignore the government as much as possible. The downside of that healthy attitude: San Francisco's City Hall is aggressively meddlesome with the various "improvements" it's foisting on city neighborhoods, which we thought were pretty good they way they are. The next thing they know, DPW is on the street with a backhoe to start implementing a project they never heard about.

The satirist's assumption is that the Masonic Avenue bike project has something to do with safety, a flat-out lie by the MTA and the Bicycle Coalition, which I've documented a number of times on this blog.

Despite a number of crashes, deaths and accidents, this street is TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY SAFE! Shout down and talk over anyone who disagrees with you and your made up FACTS!

It's an article of faith among the bike people that Masonic Avenue between Fell and Geary is the site of an ongoing bloodbath for cyclists, pedestrians, and motorists, but the facts---gathered by the city itself---show that Masonic isn't particularly dangerous for anyone, especially considering the volume of traffic it carries: more than 32,000 vehicles every day (see page 26 of this city presentation for a traffic count on Masonic).

It's the bike people who ignore the facts, even those published by the city in their annual Collision Report and in the Masonic Avenue Redesign Study. I always write about the relevant reports, but the folks at Streetsblog and the Bicycle Coalition rarely do. Why is that? Because the facts about what's really happening on city streets---they have actually been getting safer over the years---don't support their narrative of an ongoing bloodbath on city streets that requires more bicycle lanes and traffic "calming" that make it increasingly difficult and expensive to drive in San Francisco---and make city traffic a lot worse than it has to be.

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At 2:50 PM, Blogger blobree said...

Any thoughts on why and how streets have been getting safer over the years? Do you think people are just better drivers now? What projects do you think DO improve safety?
Thanks for any info you have on this.

At 9:37 AM, Blogger Rob Anderson said...

You need to read the Collision Report I linked in the post. Most of the annual report is about specific problem streets that have the most accidents and what the MTA is doing to make them safer.

At 1:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This was the original and not that much more outlandish by the spoof.

At 1:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The original was littered all over the neighborhood.

At 1:33 PM, Blogger Rkeezy said...

And 3.4% of the population's spin machine just keeps spinning.

I was at Trader Joes yesterday, and saw several elderly ladies in the parking lot walking to their cars. Considering the massive queue of cars on Masonic waiting to get into the lot, what do the bike people think about car parking near Trader Joes in the future? Clearly they don't care if anyone access it but them.

At 5:29 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"what do the bike people think about car parking near Trader Joes in the future?"

At 8:20 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't forget the 30% of people who choose not to own a car and don't give a rat's ass about your parking woes.

At 8:21 AM, Anonymous James said...

No comments on the real flyer Rob? Guess it doesn't fit your narrative?

At 10:24 AM, Blogger Rob Anderson said...

The link Anonymous---why are the bike people always anonymous when they comment here?---provides for the "original" flyer doesn't work. The only "original" flyers about Masonic I know of are here and here. Neither comes close to the lame, witless parody.

On the death of Suzanne Monaco at Trader Joes: Monaco was jaywalking on Masonic in front of the store when he was hit and killed. You don't learn this from the Streetsblog story until the last paragraphs. This accident had nothing to do with street design. If you jaywalk on a busy street anywhere, you're taking a serious chance of getting hurt. The Streetsblog story cites other fatal accidents on Masonic that had nothing to do with street design. Hard to tell when the crybaby bike people are lying or just stupid, but their hysterical campaign on Masonic is based on falsehoods.

And the percentage of SF residents who don't own a car is 20%, not 30%. See the Transportation Fact Sheet for that info.

You bike jerks are stupid, dishonest, and chickenshit with your anonymity. Otherwise, you're a great!

At 12:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Monaco was jaywalking on Masonic in front of the store when he was hit and killed. You don't learn this from the Streetsblog story until the last paragraphs. This accident had nothing to do with street design

Remove the parking on Masonic, then she won't jaywalk from parking on Masonic. QED>

At 1:13 PM, Blogger Rob Anderson said...

And if Monaco had wings she could have flown over the street. By the way, she parked her car on Masonic because the Trader Joes parking lot is too small to accommodate all its customers. Inadequate parking is the cause of congestion and unsafe behavior like Monaco's fatal mistake.

At 6:29 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Monaco deserved to die, just like anyone who walks or rides a bike. Cars forever!!

At 8:17 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

There is plenty of parking at Trader Joe's, it is just undervalued. Charge for parking and you'll get more turn over (shorter more precise shopping trips). Rob, you as a non driver are paying more per item to subsidize those drivers as well!

At 8:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Let's tear down your house and build a parking garage there. You want more parking, you got it.

At 2:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Easy to see how they do that when you pivot to being ignorant when something doesn't fit your narrative. You also paint anyone who wants different transit corridors as "bike people", as if everyone who wants a bike lane, boulevard in their neighborhood Your blog is known as a joke in SF and you represent a dying voice.



At 3:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Suzanne Monaco was jaywalking, yet if you look at those speed radar signs on Masonic you'll notice that rarely does anyone go the posted speed limit. So are all these people are criminals and just as guilty if they kill someone as a jaywalker.


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