SF to Mark Morford: Dude, Where's your bike?

Today's Mark Morford column in the SF Chronicle is the first he's written on an actual issue that faces people in San Francisco, especially those vulgar folks who insist on owning, driving, and trying to park cars in the city. It seems that a hit-and-run driver totaled Morford's new car early one recent morning. A neighbor got the transgressor's license number, but his insurance company still hasn't been able to track him/her down yet. What about the SFPD? Not very helpful:

 

Did you know the San Francisco Police Department doesn't do anything about such things? It's true. You file a police report, they tell you to call the Hit and Run detail, the Hit and Run detail tells you that they only have about four officers anymore and there's basically not a thing they can do about your problem. Did you know?

 

Bummer, dude.

Where does Morford think he lives? My dear Mark, San Francisco is officially anti-car. Did you know? They don't care about your relationship with the car you love. The city is sending you and your unenlightened ilk a message: Dude, get a bike! You might contact your district Supervisor, Ross Mirkarimi, and complain about it, but that will availeth you not. Mirkarimi got the sole endorsement of the Bicycle Coalition last year, and earlier this year he voted with the Board of Supervisors to make the 400-page Bicycle Plan part of the General Plan with no environmental review and no discussion.

 

But your bad car trip has at least compelled you to write a column that doesn't mention President Bush and the Republican Party, which is progress of sorts. And surely the driver of the hit and run vehicle was a Republican, not one of your Burning Man friends.